i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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