he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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