My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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