what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
