My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
