found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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