I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
