thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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