a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
