i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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