I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
