Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
