I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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