Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
