Christians are straight up FREAKS
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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