i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh god it's open bar.
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