Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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