I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
