thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
