ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
