sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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