Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
