I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
