Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
