He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
