Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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