I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
