I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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