If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
