listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No stitches, just platelets and will power
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
