She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
