I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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