He told me they were just razor bumps!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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