she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
