Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
