I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
