Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
