i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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