I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize