our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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