Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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