I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
