i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
