its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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