would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
