his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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