Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
