I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
