I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
