What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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