What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
