playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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