yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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