He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
