also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
