you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
