She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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