sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
