you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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