kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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