And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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