Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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