There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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