Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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