so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize