you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
