One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
