I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
