If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
