i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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