HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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