Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
